My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
