Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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