How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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