My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
only if we run a train.
done.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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