Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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