Dual....:-)
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
