so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
