How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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