so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
