2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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