I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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