Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
