Betty ford says i'm here all night
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
