They should really pass out barf bags in church
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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