Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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