Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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