i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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