We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
