I think im going to throw up on grandma
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
