If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
