yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize