3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
