I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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