i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
they're like a gay fantastic four
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
