I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
