Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I forget how to act sober
Randomize