I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
love makes seman taste better
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
