If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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