i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
