I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
