flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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