I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
