we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
