shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
