i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
