Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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