You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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