at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
