you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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