Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
