So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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