so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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