I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
