I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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