How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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