You made me cry and you don't even care
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
