why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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