I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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