all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
