Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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