My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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