are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
