Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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