dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize