To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Please, let me fuck your mom
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
