dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
