mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
