everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
