If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
