she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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