Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Your cock deserves a montage
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize