Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
